


Yours and Mine

by ashihime (snuberr), sallychan



Category: Jashi - Fandom, Samurai Jack (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, And plenty of A-grade denial and drama, Collaboration, F/M, Fanart, Implied Sexual Content, Reincarnation, Romance, Sexual Humor, Tokyo (City), lots of yelling, more tags to come probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 23:20:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17334281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snuberr/pseuds/ashihime, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallychan/pseuds/sallychan
Summary: How do you move on when your significant other leaves you for...you?(now with illustrations)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A COLLABORATION FIC between sallychan and I. This modern AU is based on Jack travelling to the future to find Ashi and meets her reincarnated form (more of this in tumblr). However, we decided to amp it up, heavily inspired by Zenzero's fic "Finally" (where Ashi got faded into the future and meets modern Jack) and played with the possibility of ALL FOUR meeting.
> 
> Before reading, some things to guide you through:
> 
> 1) Shinjiro is Jack's headcanoned real name by Sally, which means "pure", opposite of Aku's "evil". The name is also derived from the story of Momotaro that Jack regaled to a baby in the last episode of Season 4, only that there is another version of the story called Samurai Momotaro (Momotaro-zamurai), in which the hero, Shinjiro, takes on the name Momotaro during his quest, which is similar to what Jack did when he took on the titular name of the show.
> 
> 2.) The names don't crop up yet in this first chapter, but for convenience in modern AUs, we headcanon Jack's last name as 'Minamoto', which was one of the surnames bestowed by the Emperors of Japan upon members of the imperial family who were excluded from the line of succession and demoted into the ranks of the nobility. We went with that since royal family members weren't allowed to have surnames.
> 
> 3) For Ashi's. Her headcanoned last name is 'Mazoku', which is a common concept in Japanese fantasy referring to a clan of beings born with supernatural and paranormal powers. Ashi is a demon no matter what time or place lol.
> 
> With that in mind, we hope you enjoy! This also counts as our entry for jashi month with the modern AU theme. Any errors will be rectified at a later time.

Ashi held out her glass, demanding another refill, and the owner of the old wooden food cart was more than happy to oblige. It was nighttime, past the peak hours of Tokyo. She was drinking beer and gorging on fried noodles and pork dumplings. The air was cold but the heat and smoke of the yatai's busy burners helped counter it.

Seated on the same bench was her companion, a bowl of ramen in front of him. He looked very much like a man that she had dated until quite recently, named Jack.

But this man was  _not_  Jack, and despite his  _exceptionally_  personal ties to him, she refused to refer to him by the name that she had grown to adore, and instead insisted on calling him by his birthname, Shinjiro.

The man in question only stirred his dinner indifferently, weighed down by his own confused heartache, and nervously eyed Ashi while she buried her bitter anguish beneath alcohol and oily foods.

"Are you going to eat that?" She asked, pointing at his bowl, but before Shinjiro could even answer, she plucked the pork cutlet from his broth with her chopsticks and shoved it inside her mouth.

He stared, amazed at her voracious appetite. Not that it should really surprise him, after all, he had lived with Ashi— _the feudal version_ —for a few months now. Well… until tonight. The strange events of the past week pushed to the front of his mind, and he remembered with a sigh  _why_  they were at this food stall.

As confusing as it was, they had both lost their respective time-travelling lovers to, well, each other. Or rather, to the opposite's lover. It boggled his mind just to think about it. His meeting with 'his' Ashi had been bizarre enough, having found her nude near the historical Kyoto palace, and convinced that he was her fiancé, Jack—but then to find another version of himself and Ashi in Tokyo? It tested his understanding of reality.

His face and neck instantly burned in embarrassment as he recalled the very event that led all four to meet.

* * *

Shinjiro had been called in to attend a meeting at another office branch that was outside his usual district. When it concluded, he stopped by a random pharmacy for a drink and newspaper. He never would have guessed that something as mundane as getting a refreshment would change everything.

Just as he brought the can up to his lips, Shinjiro felt a small hand tighten firmly on his shoulder and yank it hard enough to turn him around. He flinched from the contact, and was narrowly able to bow his chest away from the droplets of tea that escaped from the mouth of his drink, sparing his white collared shirt from being stained. He and the woman that grabbed him looked down with startled eyes at the splattering of tea at their feet, and when Shinjiro looked up, he was shocked to see it was Ashi, only, her hair was much shorter than it was when he saw her hours ago, and she was wearing professional attire he'd never seen her in before.

"What did I tell you about wandering off, Jack!?" Her expression flashed from confused to annoyed in an instant.

Jack stared down at her incredulously. "A-Ashi?"

Her frown deepened as she studied him, eyes raking him up and down. "At least you remembered to put on  _real_  clothes this time." Before Shinjiro could interject, Ashi let out a shocked gasp and sandwiched his face between her hands. She turned his head over from one side to the other in inspection. "You  _cut_  your hair?!" She was appalled. "Jack! I know I always tell you to get a haircut but I never mean it!"

Shinjiro's brows knotted at her words, none of which made any sense. The way he wore his hair now, gelled back in a sweep to the crown of his head, was the longest he had ever grown out his hair in his life, and he couldn't recall her ever telling him to trim it... And if anyone had cut their hair, it was her!

He tried to formulate something to say but Ashi suddenly grabbed hold of his hand and started pulling him out of the store. "Come on!"

Nothing he had managed to jumble out deterred her from pulling him down the street and into a cramped, crowded apartment building. There was no elevator apparently, and they had to walk up several flights of stairs before they reached a tiny flat that Ashi apparently had the keys to. Once inside, Shinjiro stepped around it in bewilderment, wondering how long she had been keeping this seemingly well-lived-in apartment from him, and more importantly,  _why_  she would. They lived quite comfortably at his condo, and this building seemed very… poor.

Ashi's hands pressed to his chest, luring him away from his questions with her half-lidded eyes.

"I don't remember buying you this outfit…" The flirty smile she wore gave him butterflies.

He wanted to point out that he was the one who bought clothes for both of them but once again found himself at a loss for words when she reached down to unbuckle his belt. She cooed some nonsense about him actually wearing briefs but he was not able to dwell on that for long, as his mind slowly lost focus, absorbed in the pleasure he felt from the ministrations of her hands and mouth. Something about it felt different, more  _exhilarating_. Perhaps it was the unfamiliarity of this shoebox apartment, or Ashi's strange eagerness. Whatever the case, he loved it, melting against the wall as he held the sides of her head and bucked his hips for more.

That was the very scene that  _Jack_ , Shinjiro's feudal version, walked in on. Or rather, crawled in upon. Through the seventh story window.

Shinjiro had been startled, all lust gone from him immediately upon thinking the man was an intruder, and he pulled Ashi up from the ground quickly. He held her close to him, with every intention of rushing them both towards the front door, but halted when Jack stood, his loose hair shifting to reveal his face clearly. Shinjiro could not believe how similar the man looked to him, aside from his long hair and traditional attire.

" _Ashi!?_ " Jack spoke with great concern at seeing someone restraining her, then raised his brows in surprise when he also noticed the similarities between himself and the man holding her. There was an immediate tension in the air at that, with all three suddenly aware that something was terribly wrong. Shinjiro's confusion burst into shock and fear as the man brandished a katana from his obi.

"Imposter!" He snarled, unwilling to risk Ashi's safety by wasting time questioning what this lookalike could be. Shinjiro's face lost color as Jack charged at him, arms positioned for a full swing of his blade.

Shinjiro dodged the first slash, the blade tearing the wall behind him instead like cardboard. He then bolted out the door and down the stairs with the knowledge that he was the intended target and not Ashi. The farther he got away, the safer she would be. His years of athleticism and martial arts paid off, zipping past concerned bystanders and vaulting over objects, with the deranged man chasing him with equal, if not greater, speed.

They soon ended up in a park, Jack trapping him in a fenced area. Shinjiro quickly attempted to scale the wired fence when Jack leaped high up in the air with his sword. He let out a fierce battle cry as he brought his sword down, ready to end Shinjiro.

That was when  _his_  Ashi came in.

Instead of his blade cutting into his opponent, it struck something metallic, and Jack opened his eyes to see Ashi glaring up at him, long hair fluttering dramatically as she blocked his strike. She wore only her relaxed-fit house clothes, with her fingers clenched tightly around a metal sign that she had wretched from the ground as a makeshift weapon. Neither had time to register who exactly they were fighting—they were too caught up in the protective rage they felt over someone trying to cause harm to their lovers.

Ashi threw his blade back with the length of the sign's pole, and moved to strike him with a furious growl. Jack evaded her attack, and they rapidly fell into a familiar rhythm of leaping dodges and brutal parries, with neither able to land a strike against the other despite the ferocity in their haphazard waltz through grass and brush.

They locked together again and only then, as they scowled at each other over their joined weapons, did they recognize the fiery glares staring back at them. A moment of clarity washed over Jack and Ashi both, and they relaxed their hold on their weapons as they tried to process how this could  _be_.

_"Jack…?"_

_"Ashi…?"_

* * *

Shinjiro felt the prickle of tears at the back of his eyes as he absently stirred his soup. The chemistry had been immediate, he thought sadly. By the time present Ashi caught up to them, the feudal couple were already cozying up to each other after their deadly dance, ecstatically rubbing noses and holding hands as they talked excitedly. The love reflected in their eyes for each other was intense and electrifying. Shinjiro knew then, he did not stand a chance.

He turned to his drunk companion.

 _They_  did not stand a chance.

Ashi devoured the last of her third or fourth plate of dumplings and instantly asked for another serving.

"Sorry Miss," the cart owner grunted, "you cleaned me out for the night."

Ashi was not pleased and kicked up a drunk fuss over it, to which Shinjiro felt he had to intervene. He grabbed her wrist, shaking it a little. "Ashi,  _please_. Control yourself." He shot the owner an apologetic smile, who did not seem perturbed in the least, obviously accustomed to such unruly behavior.

Ashi yanked her hand free from his grasp. "Oh shut up!" She yelled brokenly. "After  _everything_ , the least the universe can do is give me all the dumplings I can eat!"

Her temper made him nervous—the Ashi he had known for months never had a cross word to say to him. The only time he had ever seen her angry was in defense of him, and with his mild-mannered lifestyle, there was hardly anything to defend him from. That was of course, until her warrior prince fiancé decided to try and murder him.

Shinjiro tried his best to ignore the memories of his time with feudal Ashi, and focused his attention on the modern version before him. She was still glaring up at him. Her eyes squinted in irritation the longer he took to respond, and her nose crinkled up like a rabbit's might. He could not help but find it oddly cute.

"Please, calm down, Ashi…" He tried to speak calmly, in hopes it might persuade her to do the same. "If you'd like, I could order takeout before we return home."

Ashi's bitter expression flared back up with emotion, almost insulted at what he could be suggesting.

"What do you mean "home"!? We don't  _live_  together—you're not my boyfriend now just because…!" Her rage tapered off a moment, having reminded herself of her recent 'breakup', which was more like, the boyfriend she loved dearly realized that he had picked the 'wrong one'.

She grew quiet as she reflected more on it. Jack had tried to reassure her that he did love her but his convoluted explanation of her not being the 'right Ashi' and proper timelines flew over her head as the hurt she was feeling trumped everything else. He had left her. He had chosen someone else. Yes, that someone else was still 'her' but Ashi could not help feeling like she was the outdated model, discarded for an upgraded version of herself.

Honestly though, who could blame Jack? She saw the shredded park—a warrior woman who could go toe to toe with him greatly surpassed a common office lady. Hell, she wouldn't be surprised if this Jack—no,  _Shinjiro_ , thought the same thing too. Probably thinking he got stuck with the recyclables.

Still, she had hoped the time she spent with Jack meant something, enough for him to choose her… but who was she kidding? She slid Shinjiro's bowl over to her and drank the remnants of his soup. It was easier to feed the void in her stomach than the one in her heart.

Her companion's concerned frown went unnoticed as she sipped apathetically, then tilted back and slurped up the last of it. She set the bowl down hard on the counter and abruptly stood up, wanting to make a show of how fed up she was with the whole situation. Unfortunately, broth and dumplings did little to combat how much alcohol she had consumed, and her legs immediately gave out when sudden lightheadedness struck her. Shinjiro bolted up to grab her, and managed to cradle her just in time to save her from collapsing against the street.

He adjusted his arms around Ashi's grumbling form while he helped her to stand, and felt his pulse quicken as she shifted up against him. Perhaps he was starved for physical contact, having lost the woman who constantly bathed him with worshipping affection, but part of him itched to believe it was more than that. As Ashi wobbled back up onto her feet, trying to push away from him, and at the same time burrowing her tired head up against his collar, Shinjiro felt his cheeks blush at the incoherent complaints she grumbled into his blazer.

Never in his life had he spent time with a woman like her. His ex-wife was passive, and while he had thought she was content to share a domestic life with him, after a few years it turned out she had harbored feelings of resentment for his, for lack of a better word,  _boring_  personality. She wanted him to be more exciting; martial arts enthusiasm and a fascination with history, culture, and travel wasn't what lit a fire in her belly apparently, and she had had an affair. But she never made her unhappiness known to him until she was asking him for a divorce—likewise, feudal Ashi was passive to his desires, only  _passionately_  so, but was also bolder in what she wanted from him, too.

This Ashi was nothing like that. From the moment he met her, she was pushy and domineering, refusing to let him even get a word in the conversation. And rather than cry her eyes out over being broken up with, she was  _furious_.

Shinjiro paused on those thoughts as he paid for their meal from his own pocket. He then fished for his phone and called a cab. Ashi became more subdued as they waited, leaning against him completely, her glassy eyes desperately trying to fight the weight of her eyelids. Her skin was flushed pink and her lips plumped out, red and glossy from all the greasy food she ate. He briefly wondered what kissing her would taste like - and immediately scolded himself for such an idea. Maybe the light beer was getting to him.

By the time the cab arrived, she was already asleep. Shinjiro instructed the driver with his own address. He had considered bringing her back to her own flat but realized it would mean carrying her up several flights of stairs. He didn't want to risk such a climb, given how unpredictable this Ashi was with her emotions.

He carried her into the house, and laid her on their—err, his bed, taking off her shoes and blazer, and making sure to tilt her head up properly on the pillows as precaution in case she felt sick and needed to throw up. After he was satisfied with how she was carefully tucked into bed, Shinjiro stepped back and watched her a moment, lacing his fingers together and rocking on the balls of his feet awkwardly. He was unused to having to take such mindful care of someone because of their own recklessness, and he wasn't completely confident in leaving her yet.

There was a soft pride in his chest when she shifted under the sheets and curled up comfortably. Surely this hotheaded woman would never admit it, but his efforts had pleased her subconsciously, and that was satisfying enough.

Her content, sleeping face looked so much like the Ashi he had treasured so dearly, that watching her slowly started to make his heart ache. He was happy that she left with Jack, they were truly soulmates, but he wondered if he or  _this_  Ashi would ever find that kind of fairytale love again. Shinjiro smiled, feeling a sense of bittersweet comradery with the woman before him; if nothing else, they at least had each other to understand this specific, confusing heartbreak.

Without thinking, he knelt and pressed a kiss to her temple, as he often did with feudal Ashi. Upon realizing his lapse in judgement, he moved to rise from the bed, but Ashi's slid her hand onto his neck with a sleepy laugh and froze him in place. Not even half awake, she tilted her head up to press a smiling kiss against his cheek, then settled back into her pillow.

At the back of his mind, he knew better. That that kiss was meant for the warrior prince that she loved. She would never have done that if she weren't so addled by the alcohol. But for the first time since he had his heart broken, he felt a surge of joy. He cupped his kissed cheek, as though it could preserve the feel and warmth of her lips. He could not stop the smile splitting over his face as he watched her breathe contentedly.

He was suddenly reminded of his feudal version's parting words. Ashi hadn't heard him, unable to bear the goodbyes any longer, but before disappearing in a pillar of light that would return them to their own time, Jack left Shinjiro with a final message.

 _"Love her."_  He had said. " _She's yours."_

Shinjiro padded over to the glass wall, staring out into the flashes of light and neon color of the city. If he squinted just right, they blurred out like stars.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hope this update brings you some cheer (not so much for Jack and Ashi though lmao). Before reading, note that there is more than one way to declare feelings in Japanese, so you may want to briefly look into it. Also, the first scene is a drabble of Ashi's first meeting with the original Jack that was written months ago in tumblr (samuraidaddy).
> 
> This is quite a long chapter, so any errors you may find will be rectified at a later time. Thank you for reading and we hope to hear from you.

_Ashi let out a frustrated sigh._ Great _. Another potential job to cross out. She had been hopeful this time around too, making the disappointment sting more than it usually did._ "We'll contact you," _they said. But from the looks on the interviewers' faces, she knew the score._

 _To be fair, she did not have much to her resume aside from a couple of part-time jobs that lasted three to six months at a time. Not much for experience, unless they were looking for a former delinquent. That, she'd be perfect._ _She headed to the direction of her station, making a quick stop at the convenience store. Cheap bento wasn't much but she was used to it. A microwave was all she needed, living alone with no family and all._

 _She moved along with the throng of people crossing the streets. It was already seven at night in Shibuya and it would only get more crowded. She needed to take the Yamanote Line for Ikebukuro, then take a different company. The trains would be packed. She had spent_ way _too much time mulling about her interview._

"What points about yourself do you find remarkable?"  _had been one of their questions. It had stumped her._

Hell do I know. _Ashi bristled in her mind._ I wish someone could tell  **me**.

 _She was crossing another major street when something caught her eye. No,_ someone _. It was hard not to notice them when they stuck out like a sore thumb. Coming from the opposite side was a person wearing traditional attire. It was simple, a basic white. They were even wearing Geta sandals!_ Is there a matsuri or is this some kind of cosplay? A photoshoot?  _Ashi wondered._ And what's that thing hanging on their hip? A katana prop?  _She then realized the person was a man. It had been hard to tell with the long black hair._

_His face was stony – expressionless. He seemed to care not of the weird looks he garnered._

_Something about him looked…_ determined _._

 _She was still staring as they passed each other in their respective lanes. That was when his eyes flickered down her face. Ashi felt her heart stop and a wave of embarrassment wash over her. She quickly ducked her head._ "Sorry," _she muttered, mortification hurrying her gait._

 _She only managed a few steps when she was suddenly pulled back. A strong grip on her arm. The surprise caused her to drop her bento dinner. She spun around. It was the weird man._ "Hey! Whats your problem? I apologized already"–

_Ashi's indignation turned to shock when the stranger threw his arms around her, squeezing her in a tight embrace. The scent of blossoms engulfing her._

"Ashi…it's you. It's really  **you** …" _He whispered in reverent awe, his face buried in the crook of her neck._

"H-How do you know my–? Cut it out! We're blocking the way! Th-there are people!" _And they were giving them disapproving glances too. Great, she was just as weird as this weirdo for worrying more about causing inconvenience than her own personal insult. Was he some otaku stalker?_

"I can't believe it…" _he continued, ignoring her protests. His voice was cracked with emotion._ "I've combed through time and space…looking...searching for you. And you're here. You're  **really**  here."

"H-Hey…!"

_He pulled his face back up, but still not relinquishing his hold. There were tears in his eyes._

"I love you." _He said._

_Ashi's eyes widened. Not "suki dayo". Not even "daisuki da yo". But "ai shitemasu?!" And from a stranger no less!_

_She opened her mouth but nothing came out; his audacity had rendered her speechless. He seemed to take it as an invitation though, as a pair of warm lips pressed against hers._

* * *

The first thing Ashi wanted to do when she opened her eyes was to murder someone. Her head felt like it had been beaten up from the inside. She forced herself to sit up, rubbing at her temples to soothe the worst hangover to date. She hadn't gone out drinking like that since  _well_ before she met Jack.

The thought of him reminded her why she had drank so much in the first place, and Ashi had to fight to contain the miserable tears that wanted to drip from her lashes. She pulled the sheets up to rub at her eyes as though her tears were nothing but minor annoyances, when she realized that it wasn't her normal quilt she was pressing to her face. She pulled away and stared at the clean white sheets and blue comforter in confusion, then scanned over the bed and saw it was a large platform bed, rather than her single-size futon.

"What the…?"

Ashi threw off the covers and to her relief found that she was still wearing her office uniform sans blazer and shoes. She looked all around the spacious room, wondering where in the world her drunk ass took her to. She didn't have to figure out the answer long as Jack entered the room.  _No_...her heart corrected at the absence of his signature topknot,  _Shinjiro_.

"You're awake." He smiled. "Just in time for lunch."

Ashi gawked at him. "What…?"

"It's past noon." He said, wiping his hands on the front of the dark apron he wore over his shirt and jeans. "I made ochazuke and miso. I thought it appropriate after... _well_ , last night."

The scandalized look Ashi gave him as she shielded her clothed chest made Shinjiro reconsider his phrasing.

"—Because you drank so much, and are surely hungover?" He added quickly, smiling sheepishly to cover any indication that he recognized how his words could have been misinterpreted as sexual. It didn't work, but Ashi only responded with a tired glare.

She started to get out of bed when Shinjiro quickly made his way to her side and gently pressed her back down against the mattress.

"Please, rest." He smiled at her reassuringly. "At least until you feel well again."

Ashi opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind when her attention returned to something he just said. "Wait...it's noon?!" Panic flared as she struggled to get out once more, swatting at Shinjiro's hands when he tried to force her down again. "My job! I have to go! I can't be fired..!"

Shinjiro steadied a firm grip on her shoulders. "Ashi, you can't be serious…" He said in disbelief. "You deserve a day off with all that's happened.  _We_ both do."

"What's this  _"we"_  business?" She barked up at him. "I  _need_ this job. Do you honestly think they'll let me off the hook because I got dumped? Get a clue!" Ashi wrapped her hands around Shinjiro's wrists, who felt his heart race at the unexpected contact, only to be disappointed when Ashi tore his hands off of her shoulders with brute strength. It immediately reminded him of the  _other_  Ashi. Was it simply part of their shared spirit to be powerful?

He wrung his apron in his hands, hurriedly trying to think of an excuse that would convince her stay.

"I—I understand that your employers might not be sympathetic to personal matters, but, surely you don't intend to go to work hungover…?" He followed after her in worry, only to stop abruptly when Ashi whipped around to glare at him. Unfortunately, she moved too fast for her aching head, and half-collapsed into a kneel on the bed, clutching her forehead and eyes with a throaty groan. Shinjiro blinked in horror and sat beside her to rub her shoulder comfortingly.

"Please, you're not well enough to go anywhere!" He did his best to keep his voice level, thinking confidence was the only way to combat her aggressive personality.

Ashi pulled her shoulder away from his touch, hissing at him. "Don't touch me!"

She got up unsteadily on her feet, much to Shinjiro's annoyance, who exhaled sharply through his nose in exasperation.

"If you need to use the bathroom, it's the first door to your right when you get out." He said coolly, standing up as well. "Lunch will be waiting." With that, he walked out the door, leaving Ashi alone again.

 _Good_ , she thought. She didn't need someone to fuss over her as though she were incapable. Doting on her as if they knew each other!  _Who does that?_  Almost immediately, a pang of pain struck her chest, remembering how that was exactly the kind of person Jack had been to her.

After their first meeting, when he swept her off her feet with a kiss and a tearful " _ai shitemasu_ ", he did everything possible to assist her at home. He would walk her to and from the train station, making sure she got to work safely, and would clean the apartment while she was away. He was also adamant about cooking meals for them, refusing to let her eat convenience store bentos or cup noodles anymore. At first, she was rigid and suspicious of his good nature, but now, she already missed his affection so much that it made her stomach sick with grief.

Coupled with her pounding head, the smell of Shinjiro's thoughtfully made comfort food only served to make her sick stomach sicker, and she rushed to the bathroom. Shinjiro could hear her from the kitchen and frowned, shaking his head with a sigh. Surely  _now_ she would see that she couldn't go to work in her condition! He sighed, busying himself with washing the the pots and plates from cooking.

Meanwhile, Ashi spent an hour in the bathroom. Relieving herself improved her condition immensely. She slumped over the sink as she washed her hands and splashed cold water on her face, hoping that it would brighten up her undoubtedly weary face. As she uncapped the toothpaste to line with her finger and freshen her breath, she could not help but notice the items arranged on the small shelf between the mirror and sink. Among the common toiletries and hair products was a bottle of cologne. It was a glass cube of silver and metallic blue, the bottom right emblazoned with the product name.  _Shiseido Zen._

Curiously, she picked it up and twisted off the stopper. She brought the nozzle to her nostrils and took a whiff. A wave of fragrance infiltrated her nose, a subtle combination of fruity, woody and leathery. Ashi crinkled her nose at the masculine scent. Her Jack never needed these things. He smelled wonderful without it.

She saw her reflection frown as she replaced the bottle. She  _needed_  to stop comparing Shinjiro to Jack, it was going to drive her insane.

After giving herself a final once over in the mirror, Ashi stepped out of the bathroom. She shrieked when she found Shinjiro in front of her, filling up the doorframe with his unintentionally imposing figure. He jolted in surprise, fist still raised to knock on the door.

"S-sorry!" He dropped his arm and cleared his throat. "I was just coming to check on you. You've been in here awhile…"

Ashi scrunched her mouth into a scowl.

"You don't need to sound so worried. I feel much better now." She informed him with her eyes closed confidently. Shinjiro smiled cautiously.

"That's great to hear! I'll heat up your lunch—it's gotten quite cold."

Ashi followed Shinjiro out into the kitchen, seeing the rest of his condo for the first time. It had high ceilings, faux wood tiles, and panelled glass walls that provided ample sunlight and a panoramic view of the city. The furniture was simple but tasteful, and complimented the warm, rich earthy colors of its masculine surroundings that blended sleek modern minimalism with traditional Japanese.

Shinjiro pulled back a chair for her and she sat without complaint. He then set down the two dishes he mentioned early that afternoon in front of her. Ashi watched as Jack took a cup of tea and drowned the ochazuke with it, the furikake and vegetables floating to the top. Everything smelled heavenly. She brought the bowl of miso to her lips and took a hesitating sip. At once, tears welled up in her eyes as the flavor coated her tongue. It tasted exactly like Jack's cooking.

Her hands trembled gently when she set the bowl back down, which did not go unnoticed by Shinjiro on his walk back to the table. He thought for a moment that she was going to be ill again, or maybe she was very dehydrated from vomiting so much already—until he saw her eyes. Ashi snapped out of her daze enough to turn her head and try to blink back the tears, but it was in vain.

"Ashi!" Jack bent his brows up in concern and again rubbed her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. "Are you alright? Is it bad? Perhaps too hot?"

Her lips trembled at his worried prodding, but her eyebrows had again furrowed in annoyance. She took a breath in and waved his hand away like a fly.

"Yes! It… it tastes like cheap instant miso!" She lied. Jack pulled back in confusion.

"It does…? I've never had any problem with this brand of miso paste tasting poorly…" He mumbled curiously while he walked back into the kitchen to inspect the carton he had placed back in the fridge.

"It's not expired," he mused, "but I suppose I might have seasoned it too liberally."

Ashi did not say anything and focused instead on the ochazuke, her sore head and muscles gaining back strength with each spoonful. The faster she finished, the sooner she could go.

"Thanks for the food," she intoned when there was nothing left, the gratitude did not quite reach her words though. She scraped back her chair and stood. Shinjiro, who had been leaning against the island counter reading online miso paste reviews in his phone, looked up in alarm.

"Did you have enough to eat? I can get you more."

Ashi did not bother replying as she headed back to the bedroom she had slept in to retrieve her shoes and blazer.

She had barely found her blazer hanging neatly over the back of an armchair when Shinjiro joined her in the room. He had popped his head out from the kitchen when she didn't respond, and looked around for her a moment before retreating to the bedroom himself.

"You're leaving?" He asked, trying to hide his disappointment. Ashi looked to him while she slipped on her coat over her wrinkled blouse.

"Yes." Her patience was failing her. She had been sick all morning, and nearly cried through lunch,  _and_  missed work—now she just wanted to get home and deal with her heartache  _alone_ , without having to try and save face in front of this Jack lookalike. Shinjiro squirmed uncomfortably. He had wanted to speak with her about their awful situation when she was feeling better, but perhaps it would take a day or two of rest before she felt comfortable enough to speak with him.

"…Alright. I moved your shoes to the front door." He motioned for her to follow him when he saw her searching around the floor, and she trailed behind him speedily, eager to finally leave. Shinjiro watched her pull her heels on while he debated what to say to her.

"So… I will speak to you later, then?"

His question hung in the air until Ashi's hand twisted the door handle open.

Eyes forward, she did not turn to look at Shinjiro's expectant face.

"No." She said simply and walked out the door, closing it behind her.

As Ashi briskly made her way to the elevator, she worried he might chase after her. But to her relief, he did not.

She descended to the lobby, keenly aware of the distance she was putting between them, like a taut string about to break. The thought of never seeing Jack's face was like a maggot burrowing in her heart. But...this wasn't Jack, she had to remind herself, this was Shinjiro. A man she did not know and frankly had no interest knowing.

There had only been one Jack and she was never going to replace him. And she was not looking to be anyone's replacement either. Having a relationship with Shinjiro was the furthest thing from her mind, but if it was on  _his_  mind, he would be sorely disappointed; both in that she was absolutely uninterested in him, and, that he  _must_  be hoping that she might be similar to feudal Ashi, which she  _wasn't_.

She tried not to dwell on the fact that her apparent 'past self' was painfully more exciting than she was, but it was difficult to think of anything else as she boarded the train back to Ikebukuro. She knew that she was going home to an empty apartment, and imagining that the man she desperately wished was there waiting for her, was off in some different…  _era_ , with a woman that was better than her in every conceivable way. The only thing that she had over her doppelganger was that she had a job, as meager as her earnings were.  _Hard to imagine that matters if you're marrying a_ prince  _though_ , she thought bitterly.

 _Ugh._ Talk about hating herself. She pushed away those thoughts when she reached her apartment, and immediately busied herself to keep from crying. She called work and profusely apologized for missing the day and not contacting them right away. She did not mind getting her pay deducted if it meant she still had a job to return to.

Ashi then set out to clean her apartment by pulling out a cardboard box and tossing everything that Jack owned into it. It wasn't much. A few shirts, a couple of pants, and sneakers he never wore. He had preferred donning his gi and geta sandals by default, even when she insisted it made him stand out and  _not_  in a good way. She scoffed when she discovered a pack of set briefs that were never opened that still had tags to. "Stupid fundoshi moron," She grumbled, throwing it into the pile.

The only thing Jack bought consistently were condoms, embarrassingly enough. He didn't seem to have any understanding of birth control methods, and with her lack of good health care, condoms were their easiest and least expensive option—even when he bought nothing short of a stockpile of them after being informed that yes, he had to wear one "every time." Ashi tried to laugh at the memory of his ridiculousness, and mused in annoyance that she had no use for his cache of condoms anymore. You don't need them if your 'lover' runs on AA batteries.

Her attempts to distract herself with jabbing jokes at her own expense came to an immediate halt when she found the teacup Jack favored sitting in the kitchen sink. She couldn't remember when it might have ended up there, but there it sat with a small stain at the bottom, asking to be washed. The normality of it filled her with anguished loss—it was as though she had only just missed him walking out of the apartment, only this time, he would never come back. She could see the slight tinge against the lip of the cup where his mouth had rested as he drank, and she lamented over how she would never see any signs of his presence like this again.

She rotated it in her hands, clockwise, counterclockwise, as though it were some ceremonial ritual that could make everything better. At the very least, she hoped it could simmer down her feelings. She almost dropped it when a noise startled her from the window. A loud tapping on the glass.

Her heart immediately lurched with hope. It was her Jack! He had returned to her, trying to climb through the window like he always did but finding it locked.

"Jack?!" She spun around, expecting to see his warm smile and kind eyes behind the framed glass, daring to believe she could have happiness at his side again.

But there was only a crow, grooming its feathers on the sill, oblivious to her turmoil.

Her shoulders sagged.  _Of course._  She chuckled, setting the cup down the sink. What was she expecting? He had traveled to the future to bring back his lost love, and he finally did. Now, they were back home, in his proper time. Together.

He had found her…

She dropped to her knees on the floor, fingers fanning the unvarnished wood scratched with scorch marks of the time he had tried to build a fire inside. She would never get her security deposit back, she realized, trying to get herself to laugh again. But instead of laughter, there was only a choked sob. The kind that reached down the stomach and squeezed the ribs and made it hard to breathe.

"Why did you have to find  _me_  first? _"_

Her tormented cry was answered only by silence… but the longer Ashi sat in the stillness of her apartment, the more noises she could hear.

She could hear the murmur of everyday conversation in the apartments around her; children laughing, music playing, food being fried—life around her carried on like nothing was wrong. Jack was gone, but the only one miserable about it was herself. The rest of her apartment building—the rest of the  _world_ —kept going without missing a beat. She sat back on her heels and cried into her hands, finally accepting that the adventure her life had become since she met Jack was fleeting, and now, over. She would never see him again, and she was almost thankful for that, because having to look him in the face again would tear her apart inside.

* * *

Shinjiro stepped out of his cab with a small bouquet of flowers and a bag of comfort food. He tipped the driver, then turned to face the rundown apartment building towering before him, hoping his meager offerings might be enough to quell the anger of this fire-breathing beast of a woman.

The whole ride over, he had been rehearsing what to say to her inside his head. But he knew that the words, no matter how mentally articulate, would hold a different weight on his tongue. He squared his shoulders as he marched inside the building, noting Ashi's room number from the mailboxes. His eyes lit up when he saw an elevator, but that snuffed out when he saw the small "out of order" sticker plastered on one side of the doors. Judging by the accumulated dust and discoloration, it probably had not functioned in years. He sighed, and headed to the staircase.

It had been exactly one week since Ashi left his condo...and since she decided she wanted nothing to do with him. He had wanted nothing more than to stop her then. To pull her back in, begging her not to leave. But something had kept him rooted to his spot as she left without even looking back. It was only after he no longer sensed her movement in the hallway did he realize what the clawing pressure on his chest was. He was  _hurt_. It was like his heartbreak over feudal Ashi, only much worse, for it overwhelmed him to the point it was almost paralyzing. A breakup had never made him feel so hollow, and this year was shaping up to hand him quite a few.

The lump in his throat grew and grew the more steps he took toward her apartment, his mind whirring with the possible scenarios that could unfold when he reached her door. He wondered, amongst his troubled thoughts, if his strangely intense hurt, or his need to see her again, was solely because of his double's words; "She's yours." What a powerful assertion, he thought, but Shinjiro couldn't help putting faith in it. After everything that happened recently, it was nice to have something he was sure about, and that samurai prince seemed trustworthy, like he was wise beyond his years.  _And_ if Ashi respected his opinion so much, then maybe she would be willing to at least speak to him about continuing a relationship, romantic or not…

* * *

Ashi was laid face-down on her futon, watching comedy shows on her laptop. Though, it actually served more as white background noise. Anything to fill in the silence. She had not left the apartment all day and the place was a mess, take-out boxes and empty beer cans littered the floor, some of them a few days old. Ashi groaned. Cleaning up was too much of a hassle. The moment she came home from work, she would just eat, bathe, and sleep. Rinse and repeat the next day. Weekends were a burden because there was no work to occupy her and being alone with her thoughts was the worst.

"Stupid Jack… stupid sexier feudal self…" She grumbled into her blanket. She rolled over to bundle up and ignore the world, letting the sound of a cheap sitcom numb her brain and ears. As she laid there, hardly listening to the noise, through the fake-sounding laughter of the audience came an insistent knocking. For awhile, Ashi tried to understand what was so funny about the knocking, thinking that the timing-based humor was clearly off, since it drowned the voices of the actors, and would start and stop in the middle of the audience's laughing. It was only when the distant voice of a man called her name did she realize something was off. She sat up and threw the covers back, staring at her laptop as if daring it to say her name again.

After another series of knocks, the man's voice called out for her again - a voice she knew well. For a moment she feared that she was hallucinating, but without the blanket to muffle her hearing, she realized the knocking sound was resounding in the apartment, not just from her computer.

"Ashi? I can hear you in there…"

Ashi's mouth dropped, glaring at the door in disbelief.  _Are you serious?!_  her mind screamed.  _What is he doing here?_ She stood up and snapped her laptop shut with her foot, intensifying the rapping on the door and the voice behind it more distinct.

"Ashi?" His voice perked up at the lessened noise. "Please, will you open the door? I...only came here to talk." She could hear the rustling of plastic and some soft clinks. Apparently he had not come empty-handed. Ashi pressed her lips together in a firm line, sorely tempted to continue ignoring him until he'd leave. She did not owe him anything after all.  _Besides_ , her eyes strayed down to the floor covered in trash and dirty clothes,  _the apartment is in no condition to entertain guests_. And Shinjiro Minamoto was not a guest. Persona non grata more like it. Add the fact that him seeing her dingy apartment was an embarrassment she did not need.

 _He thinks he's so high and mighty_ , she thought bitterly. She hated affluent people like him, with his stupid expensive condo that cost more a month than she paid for her apartment in an entire year. Without a doubt he looked down on her lower class living situation—jerk!

She stewed in her own resentment a while longer, leaving Shinjiro alone with his thoughts, which was never a good place for him to be. His brain ran a mile a minute, and he started to worry that perhaps something was amiss in the apartment, then started to panic about it.

" _Ashi?_ " He did his best to hide the worry in his voice. "Ashi, are you alright? Is something happening?"

His concern boiled her up inside. She exhaled angrily and stomped her way to the door to give him a piece of her mind. The relieved smile on his face did not last long when he saw her furious expression.

"What do you want?!" Ashi roared, leaving only a small headspace in the door. "You have no business coming here! Who do you think you are?!"

Shinjiro flinched, and then raised the flowers and the bag of food to her attention. "Like I said...I only wish to talk with you."

Her nostrils flared as she regarded his offerings. "And you think you can buy me with that?!"

Shinjiro blinked, baffled.

"Buy… you..?" He questioned absentmindedly while he tried to process her allegation. "—I'm not trying to buy anything from you, Ashi."

"Oh yeah  _right!_ " Ashi barked back, opening the door enough to point at him accusingly. "You just  _love_ throwing your money around; paying for dinner and drinks, showing off your condo, bringing me gifts..!"

"...And that is… bad?" Shinjiro asked, more confused than ever. He had never heard a woman complain about a man spending money on them. He feared Ashi might actually burst from how red her face got suddenly. "Ashi please, don't be angry! I just didn't want to show up at your door empty-handed. Please, won't you speak to me? Just for a few minutes?"

He had hoped for more than a few minutes with her of course, but by now, it seemed like  _everything_ was going to be a negotiation with Ashi.

"As if I'd even let you in!" Ashi snarled. "Why should I? You'll just turn your nose up in disdain and want nothing more than to race back to your fancy schmancy condo."

At this point, Shinjiro was exasperated. "Ashi,  _come on!_  Do you really hold such a low opinion of me? I don't care where you live! And what does it matter? I've already been inside your apartment! That time when you"- he abruptly stopped, mouth frozen on his next word. Ashi only had to read the flushed color of his skin to complete the unfinished statement. Her face instantly matched his own as the memory played vividly inside their heads.

She moved her gaze to the doorjamb, staring at it while she twisted her mouth in humiliation.  _Why did he have to bring that up_ —it was a misunderstanding! An act meant for someone else! But it didn't matter; the memory of that afternoon's activities threw her completely off balance. Her anger fizzled into a childish resentful pout.

"What do you  _want_?" She huffed at the ground. Any embarrassment Shinjiro had left melted away instantly from the excitement he felt at her apparent surrender. He raised the flowers into her reach again.

"I really just want to talk, I promise you." He smiled at her hopefully. Ashi hated the glitter in his eyes, and couldn't keep eye contact with him. Shinjiro's lip poked out in a pout of his own, but he tried again with a smile.

"I brought you some dumplings… and some other snacks." He at least knew she loved dumplings, if nothing else.

Ashi squinted, ignoring the bouquet of roses completely as she tried to make out the contents of the translucent plastic bag he held out in his other hand. Shinjiro waited in bated breath for her response, curling his toes inside his shoes in anticipation until finally, Ashi's shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Five minutes." She muttered irritably.

Shinjiro opened his mouth to protest, five minutes was not enough to hash out everything he wanted to say. But Ashi nipped his complaints in the bud, quickly adding, "Give me five minutes to clean up first."

"Oh!" He brightened. "Please, allow me to offer some assistance and"-

Ashi slammed the door in his face.

"-Um, okay...I guess...I'll just wait here then."

Ashi rolled her eyes at his pitiful tone behind the door and then proceeded to clean, that more or less involved stuffing the dirty laundry inside her closet and cramming everything else inside the small cabinet space underneath the sink. She grabbed a nearly-empty can of air freshener and sprayed it all around the apartment, hoping it would be enough to mask any odious scent.

She then headed to the bathroom and sagged even more at the sight of herself; she looked like  _hell_. Shinjiro had already seen her, but Ashi still had some lingering shreds of pride, and decided to clean herself up a little. After brushing her hair and teeth, and washing her face, she tried to muster up the strength it was going to take to humor this moron. She sighed and shuffled back to the door to open it.

"Okay, get in here." Ashi grumbled unenthusiastically. Shinjiro immediately rushed in before she could change her mind, and practically kicked his shoes off upon entering. He passed the fancy-wrapped flowers to her, which she begrudgingly accepted.

As she watched him sit cross-legged by the chabudai and carefully arrange the food containers onto the surface, Ashi felt a sudden apprehension...but quickly dismissed it.

He just wanted to talk after all and she already had a hunch of what this was about. This was a perfect opportunity to set him straight once and for all  _plus_  get free food out of it.

Really….what could go wrong?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourself for a long-ass chapter. Also, we'd like to address why we chose to go with the headcanoned name Shinjiro for modern-day Jack. Aside from the fact that the two Ashis sharing the same name is already a McStruggle writing-wise, it be would be hard to explain why a Japanese man living in modern Tokyo would call himself Jack, especially considering that names in Japan are governed by the Japanese Ministry of Justice's rules on kanji use. And if you're wondering why we had to set it in Japan in the first place, we took in consideration that well, Jack spent time in the future trying to get back to his past and homeland, so we let his modern counterpart stay there lol.
> 
> With all that said, we hope you enjoy and would love to hear from you. Any errors you find will be rectified at a later time.

Ashi started making tea out of habit while Shinjiro set up the table with the food that he had brought over. She hated how just the smell of the dumplings made her mouth water—she didn't need him thinking that she was happy to have him over in any way! After she set the kettle on the stove, she turned back to Shinjiro and saw the assortment of treats arranged on the chabudai. It looked so professional, like a catering company had set up a buffet for one lonely woman, who had taken up to eating her feelings.

Besides dumplings, she spotted a variety of little cakes—which looked like they came from expensive patisseries—along with a multitude of colorful packages of sweet and salty snacks… what was she, five?

Still, konpeitō was her favorite.

Shinjiro smiled eagerly as Ashi seated herself across him. She kept her eyes towards the kitchenette though, waiting for the water to boil. Her expression was unreadable and Shinjiro felt his stomach tighten nervously. He had come here on his own accord, so it was only natural  _and_ expected that he initiate the conversation.

"So…" he began, inwardly berating himself at how weak he sounded, "how are you…?" It was best to start safe. Ashi narrowed her eyes at him, and he suddenly felt foolish for asking.

" _How am I?_ " Her voice made him feel even worse. Obviously, she was still very upset, especially considering how she looked when she answered the door. He had been happy to see her regardless, but she looked very unkempt compared to the last time he saw her, and she had been recovering from a night of heavy drinking then!

"I only meant…" He murmured, kicking himself again for sounding so soft. Shinjiro cleared his throat before trying again. "You're feeling better than before, I hope?"

Ashi pursed her lips at his sheepish smile.

"Well, I'm not hungover, so there's that."

Shinjiro placed a hand on his nape. This was going to be a...difficult conversation to say the least. "I'm glad to hear that...um about you feeling better that is."

Ashi sighed. This was pathetic. "Look Shinjiro, we're not here for pleasantry. Whatever you have to say, get it out so we can be done here." She said as she tore open the konpeitō pack. Shinjiro's lips twitched into a frown as he watched her fill her own cupped hand with the colorful star-like sugar candies. He was trying his best here, the least she could do was hear him out without snapping so readily.

"I was just trying to be polite."

"And I'm just trying to get on with my life with no Jacks or Shinjiros."

Shinjiro swallowed his angry sigh. Coming off as irritated with her wouldn't get him anywhere.

"I don't see why you would…  _have_ to do that. I mean, you and I are the only ones that understand what the other is going through." He stared at her almost pleadingly. "All I'm asking is for you to consider me as someone to confide in if you need it, and vice versa."

Ashi huffed, cheeks flushed at his proposal.

"So you want someone to pat your hand and rub your back for you?" She frowned at him. Shinjiro stared at her in disbelief; can she only hear what she  _wants_ to hear?

"No..! Ashi, please be reasonable. I want to keep in touch with you because what we went through was… totally  _bizarre!_ I can't explain that to anyone, and no one could understand it better than you." He paused, softening his tone. "And I worry about you. It bothers me that you could be in need of something, and I'm not aware of it, so I cannot help you."

Ashi's eyes widened, her brows furrowing even more. "Oh! So that's it, huh?" She snarled, grinding any leftover candy in her mouth to dust with her teeth. "It's not enough you want me to be your shrink, but a charity case to boot?"

Shinjiro blinked in surprise. "What? No, that's not what I mean at all"-

"Oh shut up!" She exclaimed, her face turning a dark shade of red. "You're only here to make yourself feel better! You're just imposing yourself on others and you think you can do that because you have money in your pocket!"

Shinjiro felt his hair in end at her preposterous spiel. "Ashi, do you even hear yourself?" He could not suppress the bitterness in his voice. "I'm here because we obviously need to talk about our experiences...and you just want to write it off as though it were nothing!"

"...Nothing?" Ashi could not believe her ears. "You think I- _nothing?_ "

She was ready to tear into him. Did he have any idea the kind of self-loathing and misery she had gone through since she lost Jack?  _How dare he?_ , she thought. But before she could get a word out, Shinjiro shifted across the floor to the other side of the table, taking her arms in his hands and leaving her in insulted silence.

" _Ashi_ , I just want to take care of you! That was the last thing Jack told me to do—he told me to take care of you…!" He was upset, with eyes begging her to understand. Ashi recoiled more, but this time with a look akin to fear, her jaw trembling in confusion.

"Jack..?" She whispered, losing her voice long before she could finish her question. They stared at each other, both feeling the previous tension between them dissipating, leaving the two in a vacuum of uncertainty, with Shinjiro's assertion hanging over their heads. Shinjiro frowned pitifully; she looked so much smaller when she wasn't angry.

The tea kettle whistled, abruptly breaking the silence, and Shinjiro looked back toward the kitchenette unhappily. He stood and quickly made his way to the stove, assuring her to stay seated with a quick "I'll get it."

This gave Ashi some time to mull over Shinjiro's words while he prepared the tea. What did he mean by take care of her? Specifically, what  _Jack_ meant. Surely, he did not intend for the two of them (her and Shinjiro) to be together, in some pair the spares type of deal. If so, that was an awfully tall order. Her feelings were not that replaceable. She was not some child easily consoled by replacing a missing toy with a new one.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Shinjiro returned, placing a cup of tea in front of her. The steam rising from the pink ceramic cup tickled her nose. Ashi wrapped her hands around it, finding small comfort from the warmth.

Shinjiro sat back in his original place, holding his own cup. It was only when he brought it to his lips did Ashi realize  _which_  cup it was and could not help but gasp in alarm, causing Shinjiro to nearly spill his drink.

"What's wrong?" He looked at her with concern.

Ashi's eyes remained on the cup in his hands...the one that Jack personally used. Seeing his fingers cradling it made her stomach twist inside of her. It was so unsettling how identical the two men were.

"Nothing..." She spoke softly, dropping her gaze down to her own cup. She waited a beat before speaking again. "...Why did you choose that cup?"

Shinjiro hesitated a moment, always confused by her strange reactions and questions.

"I… just liked the color, I suppose— _oh!_  There's a crack on the side." Shinjiro brought it closer to inspect the now-sealed break in the ceramic, thinking perhaps that was her concern with it. Ashi felt a strange pang in her chest at his curious eyes looking over the cup.

It was like having Jack before her again...only it wasn't.

She looked away as he took a sip, willing herself not to get emotional.  _It's just a stupid cup_ , she told herself, _there's no need to feel sentimental_. But try as she did, a couple of tears still slid down her cheeks, landing with a plop on the table.

" _Ashi_." Shinjiro immediately set his cup down, his thighs bumping against the table as he got up on his knees, some tea splashing on the surface. He walked on his knees to her side, his hands squeezing her shoulders as Ashi tried to hide her face away from him. "What's the matter?" He asked quietly, one hand moving to the small of her back, stroking it.

"I'm fine…" Ashi rasped out unconvincingly.

"No, you're not." said Shinjiro, continuing his gentle ministrations. "Did I do something to offend you again? Please...don't cry. I hate seeing you cry."

His arms wrapped around her and pulled her tight against his chest. Ashi tried to protest, but found herself buried in the crook of his neck without much struggle. Half of a sob managed to escape her throat before she closed her lips tight to silence it. She breathed in through her nose to try and relax her shaking body, but it wasn't the air that stilled her, rather, the smell of Shinjiro's cologne. She had taken a curious whiff of it straight from the bottle before and thought it too overbearing, but on him, it smelled warm and inviting.

Her eyelids drooped in defeat, and she slid her arms as far around his chest as she could, clinging to him desperately. Shinjiro felt his heart flutter, and he smiled contently at her sudden change of opinion. He placed a hand on the base of her head and cradled her closer, assuring her as he did that he was there for her.

"It's fine…I'm here…" He whispered into her ear, the warmth of his breath fanning against her sensitive skin, making Ashi shudder. It had been so long since she was held like this. It was intoxicating and she felt as though she could stay like this forever.

They lingered in the embrace until long after the tea had already gone cold. Shinjiro was the first to reluctantly pull back, tucking some loose strands behind her ear. "Are you feeling better?"

Ashi could only manage a tiny nod, not trusting her voice.

"Ashi," Shinjiro tilted her chin to make her look at him. "I want us to continue seeing each other- _not in that way_ ," he quickly inserted when he saw her wary expression, "I mean, not that I wouldn't mind down the line…" He could feel his face burning up, this was not going smoothly as he had hoped. "I mean...I want us to be  _friends_. We can be there for each other and help each other out...you know like...friends."

Despite her lingering poor mood, Ashi couldn't help from bursting out with a laugh at his sad attempt to explain himself. Shinjiro twisted his mouth in embarrassment, both from being laughed at, and also because he had never heard Ashi laugh before… at least, not like that. Ashi shook her head slowly, quieting her laughter into snide snickering. It sounded like the teasing laugh of a middle school bully to him, which seemed befitting, since he was blushing like a dorky thirteen-year-old sitting beside his crush.

"What do you mean, "see each other", then?" Ashi looked at him with a tired smile. "You want to keep bringing me food to eat at my apartment..? Or you want to take me out to drink and stuff?"

Shinjiro smiled wide in reply, begging his heart to stop pounding in his chest.

"I mean… well, whatever you would like to do! I wouldn't mind where I see you, as long as I get to…" He relaxed his smile in hopes of coming off as genuine.

Ashi rolled her eyes, but not in the mocking way she always did and playfully smacked his arm. "Even if I said no, you still wouldn't give up, would you?"

Shinjiro could not help but chuckle. "Probably not."

" _Horrible!_ " Ashi said, shaking her head in amusement. "It would probably spare me the headache if I just agree to it then."

Shinjiro could not bite back his excitement at this turn of events. "Ashi, are you saying that"-

"Hold your horses, Shinjiro!" Ashi interjected, holding up a finger between them. "I'm not the kind of person who just buys a car without taking it for a test drive." Not that she could afford one, but it was just to make a point. "Likewise, I'm not just going to commit to this  _friendship_ without testing the waters first. I mean, who knows? We might not be able to stand each other. I mean, we're always arguing."

Shinjiro wanted to point out that most of the animosity between them was her own doing, but wisely decided to keep that to himself.

"Very well. That sounds… reasonable." He smiled at her and Ashi laughed at him again, before setting her head down hard against his chest.

" _Good_. Feed me a dumpling then!" She demanded with her eyes closed as she opened her mouth expectantly. Shinjiro chuckled when he got over his initial surprise, and complied by popping a lukewarm dumpling into her mouth with a pair of takeout chopsticks. He was curious and excited to finally see what her personality was like aside from an angry ball of fury. So far, he liked it, very much.

* * *

" _Cheers!_ " Ashi and Shinjiro chimed together, knocking their shot glasses together jovially.

"To friendship!" Ashi joked with mock exuberance. Shinjiro grinned wider.

"To friendship." He echoed, then followed Ashi's motions as she took a shot. He grimaced, unused to drinking such strong alcohol, but he was insistent on not letting his tiny companion outdrink him. They had gone out to eat a few times, but this was their first time at a bar in Shinjuku—of her choosing, of course—and he didn't want to come off as boring. The place was packed with mostly clocked-out company employees in uniform celebrating the start of the weekend. He and Ashi were among the few dressed casually.

Ashi laughed at him when he took a series of gulps from a previously ordered cup of water in an attempt to rinse the bitter taste out of his mouth, and she decided to show him how it was really done, knocking back her drink expertly. She made a satisfying hiss as she idly picked up her grenadine chaser.

"It's...really loud." Shinjiro said for no real reason, feeling a throbbing pulse between his ears that synced with the techno music of the establishment. "...And so warm." He could especially feel the heat on his chest and neck.

" _Wow_. You're red as a lobster!" Ashi snickered, pointing at him. "Your eyes too! You look like some bloodshot monster!"

Shinjiro narrowed his eyes at her, which made Ashi laugh even harder at his more demonic appearance. Not to be ridiculed, he dipped his fingers into his glass of water and splashed a few droplets at her.

"Hey!" Ashi admonished, looking down at her blouse. "Real mature."

"I was not the one...laughing like...a child." He faltered, closing his eyes, suddenly feeling a little dizzy, like his head was spinning. Ashi, at first, did not notice, used to his quiet nature, and was busy plucking olives from a complimentary bowl. It was only when he groaned with his eyes covered did she look to him in concern.

"Are you all right?" She asked while she chewed. Shinjiro rolled his neck uneasily.

"I think so. I feel a bit lightheaded." He moved his palm back so he could rub his eyes. Ashi couldn't believe it.

"Are you already drunk?" She marveled. "You're such a lightweight!"

"No, of course not..!" Shinjiro defended himself, but he honestly had no idea. "I just haven't eaten anything. I don't think that… alcohol agrees with an empty stomach."

"Oh my God— _eat!_  I don't need you puking and dying on me!" Ashi huffed and pushed the bowl of olives at him. Shinjiro turned his head away by his jaw, not trusting who had been handling that bowl in the busy bar. Ashi rolled her eyes. "You're too good for bar olives?"

She flicked one at his head. Shinjiro didn't even flinch, the olive disappearing somewhere behind him. He looked at her with bleary eyes. "Perhaps...I should find a place to lie down. I mean, just for a little while…"

"Yeah, and have you conk out?" Ashi snorted, "Besides, if bar olives aren't good enough for you, I highly doubt you'd want to lie down on any of the couches here- _butts_ and all."

Shinjiro did not even argue as he rubbed his temples. "I'm sorry...I'm ruining tonight."

"This is the last time I take you out to a bar, that's for sure," Ashi said as she fished for her wallet from her purse, "unless you only drink tea or water."

"What are you…?"

"I'm not going to have you pass out here. I'm taking you home." She slammed a couple of bills on the counter before sliding off the bar stool. She extended her arms and helped him down with no resistance. He slumped back against the counter with an apologetic expression on his face.

"Ashi, I'm so sorry...you don't have to leave though, maybe you can call another friend and"-

"Oh shut it." Ashi said, jabbing him in the chest with a manicured finger. "I can still drink my ass off at your place. You do have some booze, right?"

Shinjiro's face scrunched up in thought. "A pack of light beers...and some sake?"

"Are you serious?" Ashi took a deep breath then exhaled, annoyed. "It's fine, we'll pick something up on the way back."

"Sorry…" Shinjiro mumbled, trying to gather his thoughts. "Let me pay for the drinks instead."

Ashi scoffed playfully.

"It's  _three shots_ , Shinjiro." She smirked and grabbed his hand to continue dragging him. "You always insist on paying for  _everything_. Let's go."

Shinjiro couldn't argue with her when she was holding onto his arm, only smiling as he followed her obediently.

* * *

They arrived at Shinjiro's condo close to midnight with a bottle of whiskey in hand. Ashi insisted that it made a cold night nice and toasty, and Shinjiro's frozen nose in the autumn air thought that that sounded nice. Unfortunately, in his excitement to leave earlier that evening, he had forgotten to turn the heater on, and the condo was a bit cooler than what either would call comfortable. Perhaps it was the alcohol guiding him, but Shinjiro decided that starting his gas fireplace would help further the cozy atmosphere he was craving, though it was a bit romantic for Ashi's taste. She smiled at him curiously from the couch.

"What are you  _doing..?_ " She lolled her head in interest as the flames jumped to life at the turn of a key.

"The fire is nice and warm." Was his answer. An innocent enough answer, she thought. Shinjiro plopped down on the space beside her. Ashi saw no need for glasses and took a swig straight from the whiskey bottle. She passed it to Shinjiro, who took smaller sips. At the back of his head, he could not help but feel giddy at the idea of placing his lips were Ashi's had been.

"Shinjiro…" Ashi's voice was starting to slur from the potent drink. "Why are you making out with the bottle?"

She howled with laughter when the comment actually embarrassed him. Shinjiro looked at his knees, ashamed, and worried if she somehow knew he was thinking about her lips. He jutted the bottle back toward her, but Ashi was laughing too hard to take it from him.

"It wasn't that funny!" He pouted miserably, setting the bottle onto the floor. "I wasn't thinking about kissing at all..!"

Ashi suddenly swayed her body towards his, looking up at him mischievously.

"Oh  _weren't_ you?" She adjusted her shoulders so they were square with his, and craned her neck up to stare at him properly. "I bet that… you would kiss me  _right now_  if I let you."

Shinjiro's embarrassment flared in shock, and he stared back at her dumbly. He was scared to ask if she was offering or not, but also too eager not to.

"You… you  _would?_ " He stammered, and Ashi snickered teasingly.

"Maybe… just one kiss. I bet you're not as good of a kisser as Jack was." She didn't mean to say the last part, but alcohol left her with little to no filter on her mouth. It took her a moment or two to process what she had just said and she opened her mouth once more to clarify she was not being serious. She would have also apologized as well-if Shinjiro's mouth wasn't suddenly on hers.

Ashi gasped in surprise, not only because it was unexpected but also at the way it was making her feel…

She could not help but arch closer to him as an electric thrill ran throughout her body, seemingly reaching out to every nerve ending she had. She had never felt this way before, much less from a kiss.

Not even with Jack.

Her hands found their way to his neck, and she dug her nails into the skin there greedily. Shinjiro gasped at the action, which very well could've been the most arousing sound Ashi had ever heard. She pulled herself closer to him, half in his lap, and hummed in approval when he enveloped her in an embrace.  _Two people can kiss and it not mean anything,_ she reminded herself through the haze,  _this is fine._

* * *

Ashi shifted, enjoying the comfort of soft sheets against her bare skin. The bed was unusually cozy and warm, and she didn't want to move too much, lest she wake up fully and be unable to go back to sleep. She moved her arm under the pillow, only to crinkle her eyebrows in confusion when her knuckles pressed up against more skin. Her touch seemed to spur some movement behind her, and she felt an arm, which had been dormant, tighten around her before relaxing again.

Her eyes snapped open when she realized that there was someone else in bed with her, and that someone was just as naked as her. Ashi took a deep breath, trying not to freak out, thinking she was probably still sleeping, hanging on the last vestiges of a dream because there was no way she could be naked in bed with someone else. Unfortunately, that theory was shot down when the aforementioned person pressed their body closer to hers and swung a leg over. All while nuzzling their face into her hair with a contented sigh.

Ashi went still in shock, completely entangled in this person's touch. Her shock then turned to horror when she looked down at the muscular arm holding her in place and immediately recognized to  _whom_ it belonged to.

_This...can't be happening._ Ashi's brain scrambled in panic.  _This_ _ **can't**_ _be real._

Her mind rushed to remember the events of the night before, and just as it dawned on her that she and Shinjiro had made it from the couch to his bed, the man in question mumbled against her neck.

"God, my head hurts." The hoarseness of his voice mixed endearingly with his lighthearted tone. Shinjiro cleared his throat and stretched against her, still not fully awake himself, and Ashi felt the shivers run all the way up to her ears. The first time that she laid in bed like this with Jack, she had been amazed how his muscles could be so toned, and yet so comfortable to cuddle against.  _Why_ did he have to be so much like him?

It took Shinjiro another minute or so before his brain was working well enough to realize that he was nude in bed with Ashi. His eyes widened in surprise, but Ashi was either not awake or not complaining, and a glimmer of optimism spurred him confidently forward. He lined kisses from the back of her neck to her ear, enjoying the feel of her skin against his mouth.

"Did you sleep well...?" He rolled her towards him more so he could see her face. Her saucer-wide eyes made his confidence slip immediately. "Ashi…?"

Ashi gritted her teeth, trying not to scream. She could not even look him in the eye, skirting her gaze to his hair, which had been tousled in sleep with loose strands falling over his forehead.

Shinjiro, noticing the ripe blush across her face, could not help but smile, thinking she was just being bashful. He lowered his lashes and leaned down to give her a morning kiss. Ashi, seeing his face closing in, let out a yelp and shoved his face away from her.

"The hell do you think you're doing?!" She yelled, pulling the quilt up to her chin as she sat up. "What is  _wrong_ with you?"

Shinjiro cupped his cheek, staring in shock at her outrage. "What…?"

Ashi wrapped her body with the covers as best as she could, then quickly planted her feet to the floor. She winced as she stood, feeling sore all over and unsteady on her legs as though she- _oh god_ , she did not even want to  _think_ about what could have likely caused it. She whipped around to point at her bedmate accusingly.

"You—you  _ **beast!**_ " She squeezed her eyes shut while she yelled at him, desperately gripping the sheets that covered her chest. "You! Are! A! Total!  _Pervert!_ "

Her shrill voice coupled with his already pounding head made him wince, but Shinjiro was more confused than hurt. He sat up with a passive frown on his mouth.

"Ashi, what is the  _matter?_ "

" _You got me drunk and then got me into bed with you! You—!_ " Ashi tugged the sheets closer amidst her tirade, unintentionally yanking them away from Shinjiro's lap. She squeaked at the sight of his bare crotch and hurriedly turned away. Shinjiro looked down and blushed, even though he was uncertain why either of them should be so modest  _now_. He found his underwear on the side of the bed and got up to put them on before trying to argue with her further.

"But—Ashi it was  _your_ idea to move to the bedroom last night…!"

"Don't you dare try to pin all this on me!" Ashi yelled, her back still turned to him. "You sick creep!"

Shinjiro felt his skin crawl in indignation and strode over to her. Ashi yelped as he grasped her shoulder and spun her around to face him. "I did not plan for any of this either," He said, trying to keep his voice level, "We were  _both_ drunk. You know I would never take advantage of you like that. We both have to share the blame for...whatever transpired last night, we were both willing participants"

" _Willing_?" Ashi shook her head in disbelief at his words, pulling away from him in disgust. "Saying that like I just made an informed decision to jump in bed with you!"

"You  _know_ what I mean!" Shinjiro cried out, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Stop cherry picking the details, you can't pin all this on me either! Last night happened and there's nothing either of us can do to change that. We just have to accept it."

"Oh, that's rich!" Ashi exclaimed with a mocking lilt. "So I guess your way of "accepting it" is carrying on from last night!" She stared unflinchingly as though daring him to deny his intimate behavior just moments after he woke up. Shinjiro's cheeks lit up before he frowned at the floor in annoyed embarrassment.

"...The way you asked for more and more last night, I surely didn't think you'd mind a  _kiss_." He grumbled.

Ashi stared at him in wide-eyed, angry shock, her face burning with embarrassment of her own. Without hesitating, she slapped her hands up against his bare chest and shoved him over onto the bed. Shinjiro landed on his back with an  _oof_ , and laid on the bed for a moment, stunned at her lashing out at him now after weeks of having their relationship steadily improve.

" _Ashi—!_ " He tried to sit up, wanting to scold her for resorting to such childish behavior, when she leapt onto him to continue pummeling him. She beat on his chest, interchanging between using her fists and her palms when she felt her punches were not making a painful enough sound against his skin.

"You're _horrible!_ " She wailed. " _How_ could you say something so totally  _ **gross!**_ "

"You can call it gross but it's still the  _truth_." He stated, taking the beating with a layer of calm.

This only served to infuriate her more and she reached up to yank his hair. Since it was shorter than his feudal counterpart's, she had to claw at his scalp, making Shinjiro hiss in pain. " _Are you kidding me?!_ "

He brought his hands up, coiling at her wrists. Both of them tugging for release. Unfortunately, the only ones  _released_  were the sheets from Ashi's loose knots. Shinjiro's eyes widened as they slipped off, seeing Ashi's body up close in daylight for the first time...and not to mention sober. His grip slacked and she immediately rolled off of him to cover herself up once more.

"I can't catch a  _fucking_ break!" She shouted at the ceiling, cursing at whatever god or deity was up there. She hugged one of his pillows to her front, refusing to look at him while she huffed to get her breath back. The pillow did nothing to hide Shinjiro's view of her back, and the curves all the way down to her ass made him feel like a dorky preteen again, having to look away and comb at his hair to compose himself. He sucked in a breath and shifted closer to her.

"Ashi." He spoke much more gently now, and placed a hand on her shoulder. She jerked it away as he expected her to, but it seemed more like she was pouting and less like she was still furious. Shinjiro smiled softly at that and pushed himself onward. He pressed up against her back, trying to get her to cuddle against him without wrapping her up in his arms.

"Ashi, it's okay… you don't need to be upset." He sighed into her hair. "Was… sex with me really that bad…?"

 _No_ , she thought unhappily,  _it wasn't_. That was the entire  _problem_. Despite his proximity, she found herself too tired to reignite hostility and merely groaned into the pillow.

"Shinjiro...Last night was a  _mistake_." She said quietly, closing her eyes. "It won't happen again."

"Ashi-"

She quickly cut him off. "And it won't happen again because I can't see you anymore. This time  _for good_."

Her words immediately sent Shinjiro into a panic, and he grabbed her to forcefully face him.

" _Ashi_ —don't say that! Why should we not see each other again?" His mouth trembled nervously when she refused to meet his gaze. He tucked a hand under her jaw to lift her head up, enough to see her eyes. "Please, this doesn't have to be a bad thing! Our relationship changing can be for the better…!"

The desperate look in his eyes made Ashi sick to her stomach, and she moved her focus to stare at the bed again.

" _No_ , it  _can't_. I didn't want this kind of a relationship with you… and I don't want to see you again."

Shinjiro thought his heart might burst from the anxiety.

"No, no— _okay!_  This doesn't need to be something we ever do again. We can just pretend like it never happened." He smiled shakily, but it faltered the longer Ashi continued to ignore him. He tilted her chin up slowly until she finally relented and looked at him.

" _Please_ , Ashi. I  _need_ you."

She could see that he was trying to blink back his tears, his long lashes getting wet and spiky. Ashi had seen this same look a few times before from Jack. He had rarely ever cried, and when he did it was out of overwhelming emotion. Like when he first found her in the busy streets of Shibuya.

"Shinjiro listen…" Ashi carefully set her hands over his. "We can't do this anymore…" She sucked in some air, bracing herself for her next words. "We can't use each other anymore."

Shinjiro's jaw dropped. " _What?_ "

"Look," Ashi explained, "I've always known from the beginning. Agreeing to see each other and all that, I knew the real score...and I didn't mind but  _this_  changes everything. We can't"-

" _No._ "

His sudden firm tone startled her.

"Wh… What do you mean _"no"!?_  I'm not  _suggesting_ this!" She frowned at him, but Shinjiro glared right back at her.

"What do  _you_ mean, "using each other"!? You think I'm just using you as a replacement or something?" He hesitated a moment, then sneered at his next thought. "Have  _you_ just been using  _me!?_ "

Ashi squeezed the pillow tighter, hoping her stare alone would be enough to rebuff his accusatory tone.

"Don't try to spin it like that…! You know it's always been about  _them_ , whether we thought of it like that or not!" Her explanation didn't settle Shinjiro's anger at all.

"Are you  _kidding_ me?" He barked at her. "I've never thought that way about you! Why are you so obsessed with that idea!?"

"Shinjiro, please!" It was not lost on her that this time it was her trying to calm him down. In their time together, Shinjiro had never made an angry outburst such as this. It was a strange turn of events. "What we've been through...it's all one big confusing mess...and we both wanted to fill in the gaps."

" _Fill in the gaps?!_ " He scowled at her more. "You really are convinced! That this is all some kind of make-believe game!"

"Shinjiro, listen"-

"No,  _you_ listen." He shot to his feet, standing in front of her huddled form on the bed. "Do you want to know what I really think? You're just making excuses. You're in denial."

Ashi couldn't stop herself from spitting out the first taste of venom that ran across her tongue.

" _You're_  in denial! Neither of us will ever be better than our other selves, and that's just how it is! We can't compare, we're just a poor substitute!" Maybe, in the back of her mind, she knew what she really meant; that  _she_ was the poor substitute, but Shinjiro heard it the opposite.

He glowered down at her, mulling over the implication that she'd always seen him as a step-in for that damn prince. Ashi watched his eyes, which looked like they were trying to see something in her, and were angry that they couldn't find it.

Without another word, he turned and stormed out of the room as calmly as he could, intent on getting some aspirin for the headache that was now too painful to bear. Ashi stared after him in disbelief that he'd turn his back on her like that.

" _Hey!_ " She shouted after him. Her mouth bunched up unhappily when he didn't reply. The way he had looked at her bothered her despite her best attempts to tell herself that it didn't.  _What, did he finally decide she's not worth his time?_

Ashi flung the pillow across the room, watching it hit the wall and land on the floor with a soft thud. She stood up and quickly scoured for her discarded clothes, which was like a scavenger hunt, finding her panties dangling from the tip of a katana display on the wall of all places!

 _Oh, of course!_  She thought, as she retrieved them, then hastily put her wrinkled clothes on.

She padded over to the open doorway, peeking into the empty hall. Shinjiro was probably in the kitchen and the sound of dish clatter and running water confirmed her thought a second later. She could not help but bristle at the fact that he was just choosing to ignore the  _conversation_  they just had. If that was the case, she saw no reason why she should stick around either!

Ashi prayed that with all the ninja warrior skills her past self was equipped with, some stealth hopefully trickled down to  _her_.

"Come on,  _self_ , you at least owe me that." She mumbled to herself. Her footsteps were thankfully silent as she made her way to the front door, but she did have to pass by the entryway to the kitchen to get to it. Ashi peeked into the room, and was relieved for only a moment to see Shinjiro working with his back turned to her. She felt a bit of shame for how listless he looked chopping something on a cutting board, and a bit of shame for the scratch marks along his back, and how damn good he looked in just his briefs.

She aggressively reminded herself that she was leaving for good, and it was his  _own_ stupid fault for being a jerk… even if that was only  _kind of_ true.

As quiet as she was, Shinjiro still heard the door click shut as she left. He sighed through his nose, but again expected as much from her. And this time maybe he would listen to her demands and leave her alone, since apparently, he was nothing special to her. He was getting used to making meals for one again anyway.

He reached for an onion and watched the mechanical movements of his hands as he diced it, the fumes reaching his eyes and nose. This was fine. The tears and sniffling were completely normal when cooking... _whatever the hell he was making_.

* * *

Ashi didn't hear his whimpering down the hall from his door, but she paused and turned back as she neared the elevator. She hated how disappointed she was that he wasn't rushing after her. Her wrist betrayed her, because obviously she hadn't  _meant_ to, but she knew that she closed that door loud enough for him to hear it.

Her heart thudded with a wince of guilt, thinking that she really hurt him about exploiting each other's company, but she ignored it by being angry again. If it hurt him to face the truth, that wasn't  _her_ problem. She had tried to be nice about it but he wouldn't listen without her yelling at him!

Still, her shoulders drooped as she walked, remembering how just a few minutes ago he was begging her to stay with him. What had changed so much since then? Did he now see her as some unloveable bitch, who wasted his time and affection pretending he was someone else, even though that was a lie? Ashi entered the elevator and pressed the button for the lobby. Her head hurt too much to think about it anymore.

As the elevator doors started to close, a part of her still held out that in the shrinking gap, she'd see him sprint towards her. It was stupid. She was stupid.

Of course Shinjiro wouldn't, especially after now seeing her for who she truly was, without the tinted glasses.

And if he hated her now...

_Well, that makes two of us._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, everyone! We're back with another chapter. Any errors you find, we'll get to them later. Oh and Suzu the ex-wife is the "Cricket girl" from that one episode where Jack remembers his past. We named her after a certain species of crickets because the closer sounding kuriketto is basically, well, the sport not the bug. It seemed fitting too considering the color scheme.

_(Beep)_

" _Hello, you have reached Minamoto Shinjiro's residence. Regretfully, I am unable to speak to you at present. Please leave your name and message after the beep, and I will get back to you at a later time."_

_(Beep)_

" _Shinjiro? It's your father. You have not replied to the recent messages I've sent. I'd very much like to talk and see your face, perhaps we could do that...err...Sky thing? Oh right, Skype! Anyway, I am still in Beijing. The steel plants here have taken a hit from the stock market crash. But not to worry, the family business is still doing great, especially with you over there. But I did not call for business, I called to ask..._ _ **how are you son?**_ _I was informed you took some time off, and that's good! I'm sure you're doing something meaningful with all your free time, travelling and meditating and cultural research...you've been through a lot, especially with the divor-_ _ **anyway**_ _, that doesn't matter! I'm sure you're out there having the most_ _ **wonderful**_ _time!"_

Shinjiro could only manage a pitiful groan in reply to his father's upbeat message. Even with his best efforts, however, he couldn't convince himself to do more than roll over on the couch. The stiff fabric of its pillows pushed against his stubble uncomfortably, and his back was sore from spending another long night sleeping there. His baggy eyes, adorned with dark circles, glanced to the coffee table, where several styrofoam cups were spread haphazardly across the surface. He hadn't eaten that much cup noodles since he was in grad school.

His stomach grumbled eagerly at the thought and Shinjiro sighed, resigning himself to his high-sodium fate. The temptation of food was enough to urge him forward, and he pushed himself into a seated position. He ran a hand through his unusually unkempt hair, then down his face across his scruff. It disgusted him to be so messy, but ever since Ashi walked out, Shinjiro couldn't muster the energy to clean up in the slightest.

He let out a yawn as he stretched, his spine and joints popping in relief. Reluctantly, he zombied his way into the kitchen, but not before catching his unsightly reflection in the hallway mirror that frowned back at him. At least the beard made him look different from his princely counterpart. Not that that was much of a victory. The warrior prince probably never let himself go like this because of how  _oh-so perfect_ he was. Shinjiro rolled his eyes at that thought.

The answering machine picked up another call when he returned to the couch with his new cup. It was from the last person he ever wanted to hear from.

" _Shinjiro! It's Suzu! I am tired of you siccing your lawyer at me when it's you I want to get to! Let me repeat myself as I have done since the beginning. I. Want. That. Summer. House. You rarely ever go to Hokkaido anyway, like only in the_ _ **summers**_ _! Both our names are on the property. Either you give it to me or you can sell the damn place and wire me half! I demand we negotiate in person! I want to tie up loose ends already! If you're there, and I suspect you are, pick up the phone!"_

Shinjiro rolled his eyes mid-slurp and pressed himself more fully into the couch cushions. He was in no mood to explain to his ex-wife for the  _umpteenth_ time that he had no intention of selling the cabin in Hokkaido. It was a gift from his parents, and had been in his family's possession since before he was born. He then scoffed in regards to Suzu's aggressive tone—she had never been this demanding when  _they_ were married. Her new  _fiancé_  must have quite the effect on her.

He gulped down another mouthful of noodles and sighed, wondering what Ashi was doing today.  _You shouldn't_ , Shinjiro reminded himself, but he couldn't help it. All that fortune cookie nonsense about soulmates and destiny and  _love_ really had him thinking that he and this Ashi were meant to be. But after all the drama of the past month with her, he was starting to second-guess if there was even such a thing as "true love", and that made him more depressed. Three break-ups in one year really made him want to give up on relationships completely.

And the circumstances surrounding his recent parting-of-ways with Ashi made him feel sick. He had spent over a week now berating himself for what he could have done differently; maybe if he had a better tolerance for alcohol, he wouldn't have actually kissed her on the couch that night. Or maybe if he hadn't given her a kiss the following morning, she wouldn't have been so angry, and they could have let it go as a lapse in judgement, and continued to see each other as friends… not that he wanted things to stay like that. Part of him didn't regret what happened at all, except for the part where Ashi apparently used him as a fill-in for Jack, and left without a word. Shinjiro groaned and held his head in his hands.

He  _missed_ Ashi, even when he shouldn't because aside from her short temper and difficult nature, her claim of him getting her drunk in order to sleep together was wrong and unfair. Now that some time had passed, all the perfect responses he should have given her then were in his brain and it was frustrating to never be able to say any of them. Things like  _"It was_ _ **your**_ _idea to go out drinking in the first place"_  or _"I never once filled your glass or shoved the bottle to your lips."_

His ego could not help but also be miffed that after all the time they spent together, he thought she'd have a better grasp of his character. But to reiterate, she had only been projecting Jack onto him and Shinjiro once again circled there.

It broke his heart. Worst than the affair, the divorce, than feudal Ashi leaving him for a superhero version of himself. She was so convinced that he was doing the same to her… she would never believe him, no matter how many times he said it, that he never once thought of her as the Ashi he first knew. Honestly, they had very little in common, not that that was a  _bad_ thing.

Another sigh. Even if his body was lazy and his heart was crumbling, Shinjiro thought that perhaps he should take his father's assumptions as advice. A shower, some clean clothes, and meditating in his study might actually make him feel better… maybe.

If anything, it would at least provide a means of distraction…because as it stood, his situation with Ashi was hopeless.

He rose from his seat, mind made up. He had not been in his study for weeks now, which in hindsight, may have been a good thing. With stacks of rare books and artifacts, he did not need it becoming like the rest of his filthy apartment. He decided to clear some space for meditating and it was when he was moving his study chair did something catch his eye. It was a history book, the one he constantly referred to and thus sat in accessible sight on his desk. There was nothing unusual about it- except it looked a lot  _thicker_ than he remembered.

Curious, Shinjiro picked it up, testing the weight in his hands. He then proceeded to flip through it, skimming the content he had more or less memorized from numerous readings for his research. As the pages flashed by, a large picture caught his attention, and he stopped to turn back to it. The image was that of a painting, from the story of the Nameless Samurai, which he knew well. So it surprised him that he didn't recognize the painting, except, part of him did. It was a confusing sensation, and he thought maybe he was mistaking it for a different piece, but it couldn't be.

It was of the samurai fighting a demonic, almost reptilian looking woman, skin charred black, with claws and fangs, chains entangling both of them. He racked his brain, uncertain how he could forget such an important part of the story, when the caption below the image caught his eye. He was at a loss for words.  _Prince Shinjiro battling the demon who would one day become his wife, Princess Ashi._

" **What!?** " He gasped out. There was no way he would have missed something like that—he had read this textbook cover to cover. In a panic, he flipped through more of the section and found that what once was a story of a selfless, nameless samurai and prince, was now a love story between that prince and a demonic woman turned good. Shinjiro blinked over and over, unable to believe his eyes. The legend had mentioned a lost love but… no, that wasn't right. It had always been this story but… he had forgotten about it somehow.

There was another rendering of them where, instead of the grotesque features of the demon woman in the previous painting, was a beautiful and meek bride gazing adoringly at her husband-to-be with a red-painted smile. The caption below read:  _The Wedding of Prince Shinjiro and Princess Ashi, a lavish affair that lasted days._

Shinjiro could hear his own racing heartbeat as his eyes hungrily read all the new-yet familiar-lengthy passages, such as the mythical feats of the warrior couple and how under their long reign as emperor and empress, the kingdom prospered.  _How could this be?!_  The more information he gleaned, the more his questions only seemed to grow and Shinjiro was having a hard time trying to keep up with his brain. He was on the last page of the lengthy chapter, and in the footnotes, a comment stood out. It referred to one of the famous legends of the hero prince who conquered an impossible quest to win back his love from the gods' cruel design. When he was implored by them to give up his foolish endeavor, the prince merely echoed his father's words into their holy faces.

" _Nothing worth having is easily attained. Sometimes you must fight for what is yours-and what you believe in."_

The book fell, and it landed spread-out like a felled bird at Shinjiro's feet. He stood still for a long time, staring fixated at the open palms of his hands as though the book was still there, opened to the same page...with the same words.

_Nothing worth having is easily attained…_

_Sometimes you must fight for what is yours…_

_...what is yours…_

A sudden rage burned in his belly—was Jack somehow  _mocking_  him from beyond the passage of time!?

The samurai had fought all manner of alien beasts and enemies to protect Ashi. He freed her from her demonic bindings, and they returned to his original time, and then, when the universe still wouldn't allow them to be together, he travelled forward  _again_  just to find  _her_.

Was he  _tormenting_  him?

His ego was aflame in insult, thinking how small his attempts to persuade the woman who should be his  _own_  soulmate looked compared to all that Jack had done to be with the her in another life. His mind told him it was impossible that the samurai was purposefully taunting him, but his temper boiled over despite himself.

" _Fight for what's yours?_ " Shinjiro all but exploded, the pent-up anger and bitterness brimming in his every word. "I must seem so  _pathetic_ to you, don't I?!" He shouted, targeting the inanimate book on the floor. He gave it a kick, hitting the wall with an estimated thump of around twenty-thousand yen. But Shinjiro did not care about damaging expensive references, in fact, he bent over to his desk and wiped it clean. Months of carefully bookmarked and outlined research materials laid on the floor like a bibliographic wasteland.

Shinjiro stared at the scene in front of him, trying to process his own spite, his jaw clenching and unclenching like his hands. He shut his eyes and could still see the printed words behind his eyelids. It was infuriating, made even more so with the echoing truth in their meaning. His breath shook as he spoke aloud in the empty room.

" _She wasn't yours to take._ " His eyes squeezed from the raw emotion behind his own words. He felt some shame for the outburst—it wasn't as though Ashi  _belonged_ to him—but if what Jack said was true, and they were soulmates, what if this interruption in their timeline by their feudal counterparts had ruined their chance to be together? One could only guess what would have happened; perhaps they would have never met at all if not for this bizarre twist, but as it stood now, Ashi wouldn't even speak to him.

Shinjiro scowled at the floor, trying to blink away tears that prickled against his eyes. There was absolutely  _no way_  he was going to let this emotional trauma ruin his  _or_ Ashi's future. If he held the same spirit as that damned prince, then he  _too_ could fight the seemingly pointless battle against the sky as it rained on him.

 _Surely,_ _ **he**_   _never wasted time feeling sorry for himself_ , he thought, annoyed by the thought of how both 'Ashi's spoke so highly of him. His body ached at the remembrance of the intimacy he shared with feudal Ashi, of how she spoke that way about  _him_ before she realized that he wasn't Jack. He needed to feel that love again… he wanted to  _give_ that love again.

 _And this time_ , he resolved, a drunken night of incomparable passion flooding his memories,  _it's going to be with_ _ **my**_ _Ashi._

* * *

Ashi stifled a yawn, desperately trying to keep her eyes open as she typed out the mundane reports on her work computer. Every keystroke seemed to have a lulling effect as she caught herself nodding off more and more. Just as her eyelids began to droop again, a sharp knock on her cubicle wall saved her.

"Oh, Mazoku-san. I'm sorry, didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted you to know I'm heading out now."

Ashi blinked, realizing that except for her workspace, the office was already dark. She hadn't taken her eyes off the screen to notice it was already three hours past quitting time. Ashi swiveled her chair around. It took a few seconds to pull out the coworker's name from her foggy head. Akira Koike, was it…? One of the younger girls that the company recently hired. Ashi had helped her out on occasion and acted as sort of mentor to her.

"Oh." Ashi forced a smile to cover up her fatigue. "Good work! See you tomorrow."

Unlike most nights where her coworkers would just shuffle out with a nod or a quick wave, Akira stood rooted by Ashi's cubicle, a hesitant look in her eyes and one hand nervously pulling at the strap of her bag.

"Um... Mazoku-san." She spoke timidly. "I notice you've been working overtime for a while now...and I can't help but feel worried about you." The admission startled Ashi, blinking at the young coworker.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just that. The past few weeks, you're always the last one to leave the office. And well...everyone kinda talks about it…"

Any lingering exhaustion was quickly replaced by heat from her burning ego. What did she  _mean_ that "everyone" talked about it? Was she the office pity case without even  _knowing_ it?  _How humiliating!_

"—N-not that it's spoken about often! I only mean um…" Akira stammered, trying not to offend Ashi with her words. "I was just worried… Is something wrong at home? With your boyfriend, or something…?"

The heat Ashi had felt in her cheeks was immediately extinguished from the sudden cold reminder of her once picture-perfect relationship with Jack. She never mentioned the breakup to any of her coworkers; the last thing she wanted was half-hearted sympathy, with recycled 'uplifting' phrases like "There's other fish in the sea." or "Screw him!" ...She had only wanted to move on and pretend like Jack never happened at all.

But oh, how she used to gush about him…

"...We broke up." Ashi tried to make it sound like it was old news, like it was sad but not life-changing, even thought it was.

Akira gasped, hand flying to cover her mouth. "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that."

"It's fine." Ashi smiled unconvincingly, suddenly feeling a wave of embarrassment. The workplace was one of the few havens she had to keep her distracted from her unique predicament. And now it just got fewer.

Akira stepped closer, looking small and meek. "I can understand how you feel Mazoku-san," she sighed, "I recently got dumped too."

While Ashi felt a twinge compassion for the girl, she was not vying for the position of being anyone's confidante right now. "I'm sorry to hear that…" was her unoriginal reply.

"It's fine!" Akira assured her. "The other girls helped me out.  _Ah!_  But if they had known about your case, they'd probably have done the same for you too!" She flushed, not wanting Ashi to think everyone was indifferent towards her. "But you're a private person, so it's understandable. Oh god…" She chuckled nervously, "I'm all over the place. I'm so sorry for prying."

Ashi shook her head with a bemused smile. "It's not a problem...um sorry for making all of you worry and I'm touched by your concern."

"If you ever need anyone to talk to, you can count on me." Akira said, flashing a thumbs-up, but the upbeat attitude immediately crumbled when she realized her own forwardness. "Ah! But don't feel pressured to! You're not obligated to or anything"—

Ashi held her hand up to save them both the trouble.

"Thank you I appreciate it. I'll keep that in mind."

"Just let me know. We usually go out for karaoke and on some nights, Rita, one of the accounting girls likes to arrange group dates and mixers. In fact, we have one tomorrow night. Oh, but if that's not your scene, no one will force you."

Ashi mentally sighed and smiled once more to hide her exasperation. "Again, that's very nice. I'll consider it. Thanks."

To Ashi's relief, Akira did not push the agenda any further and finally left with a cheerful spirit that left Ashi's sagging in contrast. She tried resuming her work but decided it was a futile endeavor and called it quits for the night.

As she later walked to the direction of her station under the busy lights, Ashi could not help but do the unavoidable: think about Shinjiro. She had not seen him since that disastrous morning and he never bothered contacting her. Ashi knew she had no right to feel bad. After all,  _she_  was the one who called an end to their…friendship. Still, the fact that Shinjiro ended his persistence and never showed himself afterward left a gnawing feeling inside her, as though it ultimately confirmed he really  _had_  only been using her as a patch to cover the loss of her feudal version, and that hurt more than she would ever be forced to admit. Ashi sighed, her breath mingling in the cold city air. She hated how wishy-washy she was. She should follow Shinjiro's lead and put everything behind her as well.

She made a quick stop at a convenience store, picking out a late bento dinner. Ashi frowned, staring through the discounted plastic container lid at the unappealing contents of day-old rice and sludge sauced meat. Her mind flitted back to all the meals she had shared with Shinjiro. She always ate great food when she was around him. In fact, she even teased him that he was only bringing her tasty snacks and preparing homemade dishes in order to create a positive association of himself into her subconscious. He had laughed so hard at that, she was sure the walls trembled that day. Her eyes started to mist but she willed the tears back.

 _No_ , she reasoned with herself.  _You just miss the food! He Pavlo'd you, that's all!_

She paid for her sorry dinner and hurried out the store, eager to get home and eat.

" _Shinjiro, you're late!"_

Ashi almost smack landed face-first into the sidewalk as her feet came to a stumbling halt. She pivoted, her wide eyes snapping to the source of the voice. Across the street in front of a chic bistro stood a fashionable woman dressed in a champagne-colored sheath dress cinched with a gold chain belt. Hand on her waist, with the other holding on to a classic Chanel bag, she tossed her head back huffily, allowing Ashi to glimpse the ropes of Mikimoto pearls gleaming around her neck and the jade teardrops that hung from her ears.

A man walked over to the woman and Ashi smothered a gasp of recognition.

It was Shinjiro. And he looked different.  _Way different._ For starters, he had a beard.

"Well it's about time you showed up!" The woman ranted. "And why do you look…" Hesitation. "... _the way you do?_ " Ashi wondered the same thing. Having known Shinjiro (and his samurai counterpart), it was so unlike him to be messy. His usually perfect hair was left unstyled and tousled while his normally starched and pressed clothes were traded in for, what Ashi could only describe as, a tragic hobo ensemble. The woman was obviously displeased with his appearance, calling him a lazy slob. Shinjiro merely grunted.

Ashi felt a throb in her chest. The man who was always put together looked so  _undone_. It had only been roughly a month since she last saw him but the hardened expression on his face made him seem so old. Had she done this to him?

Guilt consumed Ashi...

"Well then, let's go!" The woman linked her arm around his with familiarity. "Our table is waiting."

Rage consumed Ashi.

Any lingering sympathy snuffed out. She watched in her reddening vision as the two cozily slipped inside the bistro. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears.  _Was he…._ _ **on a date?!**_

Ashi could not believe it. He certainly had not waited long to get back on the scene! While she had been busy crying, moping and feeling bad in general, he'd been swiping right this whole time!

With fury burning in her belly, Ashi swiveled and marched back into the convenience store. The attendants watched in fearful silence as she filled basket after basket with snacks and alcohol.

It was a miracle how she managed not to kill anyone on her commute home. With her bags of food, she blazed a warpath up the stairs back to her apartment, her anger mounting with each step.

When she was safely behind her door, she exploded.

"That... _ **bastard!**_ " She threw the bags on the floor, letting out a string of curses. "So he thinks he's doing better than me,  _huh?_ " Ashi bristled, recalling the woman on Shinjiro's arm. How beautiful she was. How classy. How refined.  _How un-Ashi._

She could almost scream. The urge to do so burned in her lungs. To prevent that, she proceeded ripping through her purchases. Container lids and plastic wraps flew around the room as she demolished one snack after another with brutal intensity as though pretending it were Shinjiro's corpse. When there was nothing left, Ashi did not feel any better. In fact, eating only seemed to refuel her hatred. Her skin prickled, her nerves tingling with dangerous energy. She had to do something. It just wasn't fair! Why did the universe revel in  _her_ misery? Everyone around her seemed to have everything going for them. Jack. The other Ashi. And now Shinjiro  _fucking_ apparently with his new Asian Barbie doll!

 _Well_ , she thought, tossing empty beer cans across the floor.  _I'll show them! I'll show everyone!_

In her frenzied alcohol-buzzed state, Ashi thought it was a good idea to call Akira right then and there to put her plans in motion. Never mind that it was past midnight. She got through after several rings.

"...Mazoku-san?" Akira sounded sleepy but worried. "Is there something wrong?"

Ashi did not beat around the bush.

"Koike-san. That mixer tomorrow,  _I'm going._ "


End file.
